


In Another Life

by SEpupppupp (ForNought)



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, M/M, Minor Angst, Reuniting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 01:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14558073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForNought/pseuds/SEpupppupp
Summary: Xiao Gui meets Ruibin by chance.





	In Another Life

**Author's Note:**

> apparently miley cyrus 'see you again' brings out the sad hoe in me

Linkai isn't sure whether he believes in fate or not. There are certain things that he feels are fated, as though there was intention behind every instance which led up to any given situation, like meeting Xingjie and Yankai and Yanchen and debuting with Nine Percent. He thinks it might have been fate which allowed him to meet other friends like Fanfan and Shengen though it didn't feel so much like fate not to have them by his side. 

There are other things that Linkai thinks more freely about. You only live once after all. You have to make the most of what you're given. 

It is difficult to tell whether meeting Ruibin on his way out of a restaurant is the result of fate or carpe diem. He asks the gods of Fate and Yolo why this had to happen just to see if either of them could give him an answer in the seconds between an awkward greeting and Ruibin saying, “You've changed your hair. It is like you've been through a break-up.”

Ruibin is smiling and Linkai can't work out why. But it could be consideration. Linkai would really hate to be in Ruibin's shoes pretending that the expression he is faced with is anything other than dumbfounded. 

“I had to do it for promotions and stuff,” Linkai says. He would have liked to respond more quickly but he is too stupefied by Ruibin looking as unfairly gorgeous as always. As though he hasn't been through a break-up. Maybe he hasn't. Maybe Linkai is the only one feeling this way. 

“How did you even get talking in the first place?” Chengcheng had asked one morning when they had both been awake too long but they weren't sure whether sleeping at that hour was worth it. 

“I just really liked him,” Linkai said. It was a plain response but he couldn't think of much more meaning in what they had. But he didn't want to sound totally pathetic so he added, “I guess he liked me too.”

“You  _ guess  _ he liked you? I think it was more than that.”

It was more than that to Linkai at least. He had to get Ruibin interested in being his friend because there was at least that much for them. And then the smiles and the glances and Ruibin not even pretending he wasn't looking all made Linkai bolder. And then the excuses to spend time together ran out. They didn't even have a chance and it couldn't be called a shame because it was so close because it wasn't really that close. And Ruibin said he was sorry. And then it had been too long since they had last seen one another. 

There were always too many people around. Too many people knew Linkai’s name and they knew too well how he liked Ruibin and they must also have known how long it was since they last spoke. 

“I've missed you,” Ruibin says. Linkai wishes they were alone. Linkai wishes nobody else had hung back to be able to hear it (not Yanjun, nor the manager prompting Yanjun to move on without even sparing a glance for Linkai as though this is privacy) but there are a small cluster of fans on the other side of the glass doors who are taking photos and declaring their love to Zhangjing and Ziyi. There are people who came with Ruibin into the restaurant affecting patience while they wait for Ruibin to be done with whatever this is.

Linkai really doesn’t know what this is. He wants to know whether it is alright for him to admit the same thing, to give Ruibin more than just the shapeless words and tell him exactly how much he has missed having Ruibin in his life. He wants a way to give life to the way he craves Ruibin’s touch which found him at every moment, light against the nape of his neck and firmly around his wrists and his waist as he pulled Linkai to drag him closer and get his attention. He wants to mention how much he misses bashful smiles that belong solely to him and laughs for the world to hear which became notably less shy with each passing second Ruibin spent around Linkai. Ruibin’s voice is missing from Linkai’s ears and Ruibin’s breath is missing from Linkai’s skin and Ruibin’s presence is missing from the void in Linkai’s chest but even with Ruibin right here it feels like he still might collapse in on himself. 

It isn’t fair. This isn’t Linkai. He shouldn’t feel like this. He’s lighthearted and mischievous and he can have fun regardless of the circumstances. But this is where his limit has appeared. Linkai can’t say any of this without tearing off great chunks and speeding the erosion of his body and losing even more of himself to moments that end far too soon. 

“You look well,” Linkai eventually says. He swallows down the debris of his thoughts and maybe if he talks slowly like this he can get through this without losing. But Ruibin sighs, a flat sound wrought with disappointment and there isn’t a way to win. 

“You too,” Ruibin replies quietly. “I didn’t think I’d get to see you again.”

“How? You were born to be a singer,” Linkai says. He feels rushed and he is acutely aware of how much time he has wasted by wanting to remain intact. It is only now that he realises why he has so much he wanted to say in spite of himself but it doesn’t much matter when the members outside have been escorted into cars and now only Linkai remains with Yanjun hanging back to maybe spare him a few more seconds. 

“We were always going to see each other again. We always will. No matter what the circumstances are we are going to see each other again. It’ll happen more and more often and we can hang out just like before when we have the time. You won’t even have time to miss me and I-”

“It won’t be the same,” Ruibin shrugs. And it won’t, Linkai knows that even if he wants to deny how things have changed. They won’t have the same opportunities as when they first met. Even though Ruibin says, “But I always think of you anyway.”

And time has run out and Linkai can’t even register the way Ruibin pulls him close for that fraction of a second before he is being dragged out of the restaurant to be Nine Percent’s Xiao Gui and Ruibin has beens wept from sight once more.


End file.
